I feel so bad for my daughter. Maybe one day deadbeat moms will receive equal treatment, but it wont be anytime soon. In practice, the judge tends to . document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); THIS IS AN ATTORNEY ADVERTISEMENT. I could not afford to pay the payments plus the past support. KS and LindseyDont know if your following. His salary was $2800/mo before taxes. It used to be closer to 95% of the time, so some progress has been made. Just because we divorced does not make him less of their father. Costs to raise a child should be split 50/50. I have been dealing with the same issue. Many judges issue Orders-of-Protection against the father to expedite this process and confiscates custody of the children away from the father most likely before he knows what is going on. All politicians out there need to read this. I read all about the fees charged for everything they collect mostly fees on the support if my children get the trickle down its like 3/4 state 1/4 to kids. So if that isnt a DEAD BEAT DAD WHAT IS? My wife has all these programs she has to do an they say she still has to go find work so there saying ahes not allowed to sleep cause she has appoinments everyday of the week an then her daughter on the weekends. So, needless to say, I didnt get the support case transferred due to the fact that I still owed $3000 in arrearage (not an issue, I have had automatic payments coming out of my check for the past 12+ years going to current support and arrearage). Hopefully in time it does :(. As a woman, I am personally sick of certain women( not all) taking good honest men for all their worth just because these men had had children with them. if the father reaches out for help or welfare nothing happens! That is why they fight shared parenting legislation!? Child support an child support court are all biaist. When 50/50 custody is in place, each parent is responsible for shared costs of living. Get over it. Someone that wants too fight NOT complain.. 215-626-2504. I have had custody of her since she was born. But the pendulem has swung all the way to the other side and it doesnt appear that its going to be put where it belongs..in the middle. Dont lump every man into your situation . (Insert male grunt here). Laws for maintenance and alimony doesnt acknoweldge the financial status of wife, her education, her earnings. I have had constant visitation with my oldest daughter for 6 years now and have always made child support payments the whole time. To tell you just how off social normed expectations of parenting are: homosexual couples appear in some studies to be the best parents! To be honest, she could have whatever she wants. They did make sure to take child-support out of his unemployment though. like for example with the income tax.. A lot of you may not have noticed this but, when they take your income taxes you are really paying child support with money that child support already came from and I think its very unfair if you start off in the hole, but you make regular monthly payments and still be subject to tax offset. The same people who hate welfare are the same people who demand personal responsibility right? He paid her 735 while he was in the military he got injured in the military now he is a disabled vet and despite multiple attempts to get this amount modified they havent followed through with it for these past 10 years . Finally,,,! Sounds fair to me but in the one sided battle it aint gonna happen! So whatever works best for the parent is what should happen? I have the kids now and have had them for three years guess who the dead beat is now, and she can afford to pay. Before I say my opinion let me first say that able body men should pay their child support . In the meantime, their support payments are a fraction of what it costs to raise their children. Credit For Marital Home Mortgage Payments. Why should those women stay at home when they could be working. If the mother has no income, the state gets nothing (10% of 0 = $0). I sold my car and I walk with a back pack everywhere. Thank you!!! Now imagine that because one parent wrote themselves as primary in the custody agreement, New York State has agreed that theyre entitled to receive child support, and share the cost of extracurricular activities and child care while also being responsible for costs of living. 3 talking about this. So his attorney started a witholding which ended when he quit his job in 2012, and in 2013 he had convinced all three that I was evil and caused all of jis financial difficulties. No matter what the circumstances are a parent should pay child support and the child should live a life style which they have become accustomed to. The child suppprt office in South Bend, Indiana has been rude, and steretypical in being pro-woman, anti man. If the non-custodial parent wasnt paying back the welfare, then that isnt fair to citizens. CHANGE NEEDS TO HAPPEN!! Best said by attorney Melanie McCulley: When a female determines she is pregnant, she has the freedom to decide if she has the maturity level to undertake the responsibilities of motherhood, if she is financially able to support a child, if she is at a place in her career to take the time to have a child, or if she has other concerns precluding her from carrying the child to term. THOSE payments run from millions to tens of millions per year. Here's what happened: My child support went from $1,113.00 per month plus health insurance of $225.00 to $243.00 a month in child support and she paid the health insurance. I paid for all the health insurance, I paid all the co-pays, I provided all the birthday, Easter, Christmas, etc., presents. 2) Yes, 50/50 should probably be the default. And the court in Arkansas doesnt care at all that we have 6 children now. My son graduated 2 weeks ago ,lives with her,works 2 jobs and is 18. We refused to put that in divorce decree because if we were still married nobody could make us pay, so why should being divorced change that? All child support should be put into a trust for the child and only used for approved medical, education, rent, food, etc NOT given to bad mothers who use kidd as paybacks, with no damn oversight or accountability. Because uncle sam takes another 30% from my wages, I dont have the option to be involved in my childrens life as much as I would like. Why should that man, who doesnt have a large income, be forced into a situation where he has to struggle just to make ends meet when the woman is perfectly capable of working and has a job herself? The US Justice Department said in a 9 page memo that incarceration for court fees and fines is against the law.The Federal Government contradicts itself in Child Support Regulations though?????! The scam has been enhanced by the payment of incentives by the federal child support collection office to each states collection agency. Ive also heard many arguments from women who would agree with you. She has a hundred different versions of birth control, not including adoption, AM after pill, and abortion. Hire a lawyer. The child benefits greatly from the growth in both parents, agreements and disagreements. I thank heavens did not have to deal with the child support drama. You file a support modification to eliminate the daycare portion. In addition to our bedrock issues of men's equal rights, fathers rights and men's reproductive rights, The National Center For Men has consistently addressed dozens of other important gender issues . I asked my attorney if I can do a child support review to get it lowered and he says best bet is dont do it because when I had my orders set, minimum wage was lower and all they will do is raise it to new minimum wage standards. HOWEVER, the majority of men do not want the day to day care of children, but will agree to the 50/50 arrangement in order to avoid child support. Dont pay child support, well take away your license. Spoken like someone who expects someone else to foot the bill. if parents agree on extra circular activities than both need to pay for it. She was a nurse practitioner whose license had been yanked and she was looking for income. The children should solely be with mom for consistency and stability. He failed to make the payments and was held in civil contempt five times. Therefore it should be no problem for you to do the right thing and give up your parental rights while sending a large portion of your income to your sons father to do as he wishes with. To those who really believe in the dead-beat dads and trying to make an excuse for them, instead of talking SO MUCH ABOUT IT.FIND THEM AND HELP THEM! View a full listing of offices nationwide. I took the charge to stand up for my right to visit my kids. Whether it be mother or father the ones who make it work are the ones who care about the child over their own selfish biases. EXPECTING women to be feminists is the problem. A woman can do anything a man can do, right? it is three times more deadly for a man to spend any given year supporting his children on the job than it is for the mother in that same years time to ever have a pregnancy to the birth or for the mother to have an abortion. Step Parents are still parents too and if they are providing for the child, they should be accounted for. Could you contact me via email, I have some questions that I am sure you could lend me some advice on. Any time my ex and I have a disagreement, she makes it out really big to the kids and has convinced them that Im a bad person. Now I think that there had to be something that can be done to stop this . The first year in a half they wouldnt let my daughter see her children of her days. You are not entitled to them. I really find it concerning that so many women are misinformed about the way child support works. The problem is that the court treats kids like data on spreadsheet, not real human beings. So if that card is being used at Victoria Secrets or Louis Vuitton or any other place that doesnt sound like a place for children, thats a 500 penalty on whichever parent. The suffering i cant bear must be worse for my kids thinking they were not loved You are not entitled to them. Welp when it finally all adjudicates, $26,000.00 in legal fees later and all the alledged arearages and counterclaims for legal fees and punitive damages dropped and property lien remanded. Women can choose abortion , adoption or selling the kid basically . I grew up without a father and I know theyre better off with both parents in their life. We both decided to go out separate ways, however that doesnt mean that he has to support me . Many states also charge illegal amounts of interest on child support arrears, which buries non-custodial parents in debt. Children do grow up and I have a 8 year old daughter that I would have a HARD time spending that on. Mary Ramos I feel your pain. I encourage our law makers to do whats right and truely make the necessary changes. So how is a man supposed to pay current support plus back support with interest. If one parent doesnt want to work the other parent should get the kid. I send some months $400 and others only $300 because I need to pay my bills. Im pretty sure they target the weak cause they know someone else would find a way out or they know someone in child support an they let them go. I claim bankruptcy. it is mebut for the 16th year I cant repair my car or get a new one because the state took my federal taxes in escrow again and its more than my entire arrearages which I refuse to pay for since noone can even tell me where to find my children because apparently visitation and obsconding from court appointed visitations is an allowable choice in our state, which should be rewarded for ruining your children. When accusations of substance abuse are levelled against a party during the course of litigation, drug and alcohol tests are MANDATORY in order to prove or disprove said accusations. In no state is a parent allowed to withhold visitation because of support owed. I would of got in all sorts of trouble. Steevo, I am contemplating doing just that. This is totally crazy talk. You are a citizen with rights. Men should have equal access to their children until its proven they arent worthy of equal time. They dont go on hold because you lost your job. In the 21 century men and women are considered equal. You dont own them. The system sucks! the non sense of putting one parent into poverty is ridiculous and its not just. Or, she can take him to the cleaners through child support enforcement, and get away without ever letting him see his own kid. Do you know that this man made sure that every time he went into a room, he was in front of one of those units? File for visitations they can amend the restraint order upon visitation schedule! My husbands ex worked maybe a total of 2 years in all the years he had to pay child support. There needs to be something much more child specific. Since his election in 2002, Abbott has made child support a major focus of his office and used it as a rallying cry in his 2006 re-election campaign. It is time to ACT. Ive felt the same emotions as you, still feel a lot of them. If the custodial parent cant be bothered to document and substantiate actual costs then they should get either nothing or 50% of a basic formula for what the average costs of a childs educational and healthcare are for whatever age. So how will my kids stay with me when all I have is a rented bedroom? I think not. He had custody because moms now husband is a pedophile, and so the children were placed w/ him and but the husband of mom took a test in Nebraska due to her pleas w the courts the kids need her etc and he passed to be safe around kids(who knew there was such a test, but he lives w them and is a lifetime register offender), so mom taught the kids what lies say to get removed from dad and have them beg to be placed w her family and it worked. In my state the father is subject to license suspension, penalties and fines, and jail time if the support amount is not current. We gave him and my daughter their own land and mobil home. So hes supposed to keep paying while hes in prison? Counting the days til 18 My son-in-law lived with me for 12 years and I took care of their children. Youre telling me that (assuming an equal amount of financial responsibility was considered during Child Support calculation) it takes roughly $40000 dollars a year to raise and support those kids?? Thats is ridiculous. Ohohohoho. Im in the army married 15 years with 2 teenagers. 50 % of my income goes to cse and taxes. Not to mention all of the little things they ask for through the year.. We have 50/50 custody though she is the custodial parent.. Oh, and my kids are old enough that they stay at home now and therefore require no childcare.. Our kids are and always have been well taken care of. Mindi, thank you for standing up for fathers. The strange thing is that in all the years I have been reading the enormous (and ever-growing) volume of statutes, rules and cases on child support/maintenance, never have I found anything that says that fathers should be treated less fairly than mothers. Divorce game plan for women. or you could be like my ex and skip the state leave no contact info and still want paid. File for modification. Ive been paying, lost my job, got behind, live in a different state. Most of this money goes to fill the welfare coffers of the state who like to pander to single mothers and the children. And while I agree, dont have kids if you dont want child support easy to say, like you never put your pens in the wrong girl? Theres a lot that needs to change if we really want to do what the research shows is best for children. Thats the whole point. Even if she makes 2-3 more an hour her house nite is more than one of he paychecks lol. Im a mother and I often get flack for my ideology behind child support. The financial circumstances of the parent receiving child support. His family avoids me as well because I honestly think they are embarrassed. Also If the female has the right to anything then the male should have equal right period. Its a sad situation that there is no way they can grasp as 8 and 5 year olds, they arent adults able to understand it all yet. Thank you!! Under child support law, child maintenance must be paid to the parent with the main day-to-day care of the child. It defies logic on so many levels Instead I dealt with kids that slept through half the week in class because they never had to go to sleep at dads house, kids that came home every other week with a different hair color, which has been proven to increase the risk of them to develope cancer in their lives, and setting my kids up to get in trouble so that the would have yet another negative memory of me. My biological kids are so much better adjusted than my step children because of the positive relationship that their dad and I have.money has got to be taken out of the equation. Yes money is important because it pays for food, clothing and rent but many statistics have proven the detrimental effects of not having a father involved in a childs life. During the trial for the charge my lawyer made a deal that I give up my right to access my kids at her residence to get out of the charge. I know Im not good with all this court stuff but anyways they got me for contempt of court for not having that paper after trying to explain that I had brought it the first time well I have been making payments seems my first court appearance thankfully for family and my fianc but the judge is saying that isnt good enough and they want a paper from my doctor with certain information on it that my doctor is even confused about and all the judge keeps telling me is Im looking at a lot of jail time and I may look like one of these guys who has been in and out of the pin but Im not in a great dad and love my kids the only people they are hurting is my children and they dont see that and I cant figure any way out of this I am paying my support and a little extra on my support then Im ordered to it isnt a whole lot extra but Im making a effort and concistent and my court appointment lawyer that I finally got said that she doesnt understand what there issue is either its like they have it out for me because the way I look and when I told the judge I have been paying child support for 16 years he said that doesnt count for anything wth does it count for Im very disappointed in the child support system and my kids are going to loose a father because these courts screwed up and nobody is to blame at the courts when are they to be held accountable for there actions. 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